WE ASKED 20-SOMETHINGS HOW THEY WOULD QUIT THEIR JOB IF THEY WON THE LOTTERY

Jan 7 2016 BY bespokemag

I often wonder what i’d do if I won the lottery. And after much thought i’ve decided I definitely wouldn’t make it known at work; I wouldn’t hold on to my job either if we’re being honest.

If the ultimate dream were to play out I imagine i’d march down to the canteen, relocate the huge serving pot from the hot plate to an empty table and eat with my hands until security came to get me. Pusha T’s latest album would feature on my building exit walk too. And i’d never return to the office; that’d be the last they’d see of me.

And with the National Lottery jackpot rolling over to an estimated £57.8m this coming Saturday, we couldn’t help but wonder what some of you might do if the winnings came your way. So we stepped out and asked some 20-somethings how they’d go about quitting their job if they won.

Check out what they had to say below.

 

23, Communications

I’d wait until our AGM ensuring everyone in the company was in. Request to do a presentation where I’d remove my office wear to a reveal a tracksuit. I’d then go on to talk in the most fluent slang possible as if I was an apostle speaking in tongues. Once I’ve left my colleagues confused from my foreign language, I’d close by saying “this is the real me, bitches” and head to the roof to fly away in my helicopter.

 

23, Financial Services

I’d bring my laptop to work and make beats all day then tell the CEO to fuck off.

 

23, Financial Services

I’d definitely walk into the office and pop several bottles. Not even joking; five bottles labelled I, Q, U, I, and T. I’d do it at 9am too!

 

22, Accounting & Finance

I’d take this opportunity to move to the French lady that wears the pencil skirts all the time. In an ideal world I’d hold her hand and calmly walk out of the building.

 

22, Consulting

I would invest in a boom box (I’m talking 80’s aesthetic but modded to produce an ungodly amount of volume) and literally stand in the middle of my client office with it held above my head and my eyes looking up to the heavens; blaring out an armada of dubplates I’d paid grime artists to make cussing every single stakeholder I had encountered. Even the ones I like. Then, when security came for me I’d strip to my boxers and just run around the building until they caught me. I would be silent and wearing a JME mask through the entire adventure.

 

24, Consulting

I’d spend the day playing Football Manager on my office computer, and then get Usher to sing my notice period to my boss.

 

23, Accounting & Finance

I think the first thing I would do is purchase a fur coat to wear for Dress Down Fridays as well as employing someone to follow me holding the back of it at all times to prevent the bottom from touching the floor. I wouldn’t rush handing in my notice straightaway, I’d reach a staggering level of incompetence – even more so than my usual day-to-day blunders, and I’d finally stop watching the Wicked Skengman 4 video minimized to a tiny corner of my laptop screen, having installed a 42 inch Sony Bravia TV with HDMI output at my desk. When my bosses have finally had enough, I’m anticipating they’d call me into a meeting to find out why my performance had become so slack of late. Hopefully they’d ask “why are you behaving so erratically and not doing your work?”, at which point I’d bring Future and a live orchestra into the office for a rendition of “Jersey”, explaining “you do what you want when you’re poppin'” before submitting my written resignation. As the finale, I’d pull the fire alarm and wait for the whole staff to assemble outside of the office, where I would leave by method of “Adebayor vs. Arsenal celebration“, sliding along the fresh turf I’d had laid outside of the office especially for this occasion.

 

22, Investment Banking

I would come to work in a trackie and skates and punch my boss in the face as hard as humanly possible while shouting “no flex zone!”. Then simply say “wagwarn, bitches” and skate on out.

 

23, Marketing

I’d probably not make it in and just set my out of office to a gif of me amongst a fraction of my winnings.

 

23, Business Operations

Ram my Ferrari into the front of the building before loading up my second Ferrari with all the hot receptionists.

 

23, HR

Who cares about my colleagues- I’d just stop going in; I’m using that money to pay for one night with David Beckham!

 

23, Education

If I won the lottery my last act at work would be to place an envelope of fake £50 notes in everyone’s desk and walk around like Oprah shouting “10 grand for you, £10 grand for you” whilst walking out like the man and chuckling to myself.

 

23, Hospitality

In all honesty, I’ll probably keep the job but use up all my holidays at once then come back. That money won’t last forever – but in the perfect world I’d love to walk up to one of the buff new female employees in front of everyone mid-shift and say “we’re going to Barbados, don’t pack your bags” and when I walk past the director on the way out just give him a cheeky wave.

 

23, Retail

I work in Selfridges so I’d probably hire a personal shopper to walk around with me and tell certain people to suck themselves on my behalf, then buy a few Rolex’s for the peeps I like or something.

 

23, PR

My last act to announce I’m leaving at work would be to come in dressed as a shot girl and dish out shots to everyone.

 

23, Professional Services

I’d drop my work laptop from the 9th floor before walking out blazing “Money Ain’t a Thang.” A helicopter would pick me up from the roof garden too.

 

22, Fitness & Health

I work at a gym so I’d get the keys and come in at night and go skinny dipping in the pool and raid the bar in the restaurant and have a house party in the gym!

 

24, Financial Services

I would buy Krispy Kremes for everyone in the work place. Would then buy the local Tesco and have a rave in the shop from 5pm, til’ late!

Before that however, I would ask some of my work colleagues with long-term partners if they would like to come jump in a hot air balloon with me.

 

24, Graphic Design

I would come in a crop top, jeans and the sexiest trainers to rub it in that I don’t have to work there or ever again, but would give everyone expensive gifts just cause I can.  And then laugh and drive off in my dark grey Lambo!