#WomenWednesdays: Is it ever too soon to say “I love you”?

Jul 29 2015 BY bespokemag

When is it (if ever) too soon to declare your love for someone? A question I’m sure many women have asked themselves at least once. Typically we’d prefer to wait for the guy to say it first. However, women are becoming a lot more assertive in the dating process. In a lot of cases we’re declaring our feelings ahead of our other half, and it’s not particularly easy. Stating exactly how you feel takes a lot of courage; you’re left open and vulnerable to upset if the feelings aren’t reciprocated. On the other hand it could open new doors for your relationship to grow.

I recently found myself chewing over the very same question of love. I met a guy abroad not so long ago and to be honest it wasn’t something that I thought might lead to anything (he lives in Portugal and I in London). However, seven months later we were still talking every day and I had even booked a ticket to go out and see him. 

The visit was amazing; it was as if we had never been apart. Our feelings for each other intensified greatly in the short time I was there and before I knew it was my final night, and we had not yet discussed how we intended to continue the relationship. I decided to throw caution to the wind and told him exactly how I felt. I told him how I was in love with him and that I did not want us to end the relationship. That I was more than prepared to make long distance work. So we decided to give it a go.

The whole long distance thing was hard. The first month particularly so as we’d spent two intense weeks together prior. But despite our obvious geographical difficulties we found a way to make it work.

Fast forward some months later, and even though we are no longer together, I do not regret the decision I made in opening up to him. It meant that the time we spent together thereafter was not wasted. That we could appreciate every moment we did get together, and enjoy – even if temporarily – a love for each other that grew exponentially.

To run back to the question at hand, I do not think there is a certain amount of time one must wait before saying ‘I love you.’ Every relationship is different so you should do what your heart tells you, not what society or your friends dictate. Why wait six months to tell someone you love them only to find out it was only ever a casual thing for them anyway?

In deciding to throw caution to the wind and lay your feelings out you invite risk into your life. The risk of it not working out in the long ring run. Or perhaps the realisation that your love is unrequited. However, think of what you could gain; a broken heart only lasts so long however a happy, loving relationship could last forever.